For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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