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I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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