This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
