Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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