Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
