dude i'm inner monologue high
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
a search helicopter?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
