can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
