So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
