highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
