If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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