hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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