you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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