Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
