we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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