Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
