hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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