problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
