he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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