make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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