I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
