My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i think i just lost a toe
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
