but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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