my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
now i know why i became what i already was.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
