you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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