Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
