This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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