I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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