let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
