A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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