How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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