No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
