she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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