I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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