I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
