dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
a search helicopter?!
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
