all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
