I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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