i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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