His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
