I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
