Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
