It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
