dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
