Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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