The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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