i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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