I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
