My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
