I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
