with your own penis?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
