Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
