Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
try to milk me bitch
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
