let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
